Wednesday, March 10, 2010

A Proven Plan To Win Back An Ex

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A Proven Plan To Win Back An Ex


Once you've been dumped by an ex that you're still in love with then your main goal is usually to find some way to win back an ex who has broken your heart. What is usually the case though is that most people don't have a clue where to start and they either rush around sending expensive gifts or making a ton of phone calls – all of which only serve to push their exs further away.
Your opening move to win back an ex, should always be to approach the mission in a calm and relaxed manner. Do nothing that is going to make you appear as desperate and needy because again, your ex will only find it a turn off.


To get yourself in a calm and rational place, you need to take some time out from the heat and drama of the breakup. Too often people don't take this time out and instead just panic and believe they have to win back an ex by going straight in hard from day one.


As you take this time, concentrate on the things that are going to make you feel good about yourself and what you need to keep your spirits up. So make sure that you're not spending too much time on your own and that you're instead out with friends and having some fun. Truly this is possibly the last thing you want to do, but you'd be amazed how much of a difference this one step can make to your prospects of getting back with the one you love.


For the same reason looking after your body is key. When you take the time to do some regular exercise and eat well, you begin to feel focused, less confused and defeatist about what you're going through. You don't have to join a gym if that's not your thing. You simply need to find what works for you and stick to it. It could be as simple as a regular walk or joining a sports team or simply a regular kick around with the kids. Anything that gets you up on your feet and has the blood pumping.


Eating well is also part of this. Don't fall into the obvious trap of over indulging where food and drink are concerned. It might make you feel consoled initially but eventually it will ruin any chance you might have to win back an ex. So eat well and drink in moderation.


Connect all of these points and you have the beginnings of proven plan to begin the job to win back an ex.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

9 Ways To Get Ex Back Hating You

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9 Ways To Get Ex Back Hating You


So you want to know ways to get ex back in love with you? Be careful what actions you take in your efforts to get ex back. If you aren’t careful you may find more ways to get ex back hating you instead of loving you. Here are ways to get ex back hating you. If you don’t want your ex to hate you then DO NOT do these things.


Call them several times a day. This will bug them like crazy and may cause them to block your number. You can always get more numbers, though. Disposable phones and using friend’s cell phones are easy ways to get this done.


Keep writing them and letting them know how much you miss them. Letters, Emails, and Text Messages can hit them from several directions. Leave notes on their windshield. This is a great way to get their attention (and wrath).


Remind them frequently of things that they said and promises they made. Who says that things have to change? They said it once, so they must have meant it forever and just forgot. Constantly remind them. You will only be reminding them how good an idea it was to leave you.
Follow/Stalk them and let them know that every minute they live, you are right there. Every single breathe they take, you’ll be watching them. Be sure to grin whenever they see you. They will think your crazy and you may scare them. Be ready for the restraining order.


Bother their friends. Ask them constantly how they are doing and see if you can find out where they are going to be. Try to go everywhere that the friends are. Most likely they will be trying to get rid of you.


Call their new love interest and let the new flame know that you are the real love and it is only a matter of time before your ways to get ex back works. More than likely you will end up making both of them hate you and they could end up becoming closer because of the harassing you do.
Call their parents and try to be their parent’s best friend. You will only get the parents mad at you as well or drive a wedge between your ex and his parents. Either way, you have given your ex more reason to hate you.


Try dating their best friend. Your efforts to make them jealous may end up ruining another of their relationships. Sooner or later the best friend will realize that you are just using them and you will be alone again.


Call their workplace and ask about him or ask to talk to him. That will be a great way to get your ex back hating you, especially if it costs them their job.


There are ways to get ex back in love with you but get help and find out what things work. Be careful who you try to get help from. If they have a successful, long lasting romance or are trained at giving relationship advice, then they are good to get help from. If they have had a lot of short term relationships they may not be the best one to get help from. Follow your heart if you want to get ex back, but be careful what you do. Not all ways to get ex back that come to you naturally will make them love you again.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

7 Top Signs Of Cheating In A Relationship

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7 Top Signs Of Cheating In A Relationship

If you suspect your partner at all, you should look for signs of cheating in a relationship. Usually if you see smoke, a fire is burning somewhere. So if you have doubt in your partner’s fidelity, there’s probably a reason.

Remember that just because you see signs of cheating in a relationship, though, that doesn’t necessarily mean that cheating is going on. Once you’ve seen the signs, you’ll have to look further to determine if cheating is really happening.

And sometimes there are no signs of cheating in a relationship and yet cheating is going on. It’s not an easy position to be in, to have to figure these things out.

The following signs can certainly lead you one direction or another. Don’t make a decision just based on one or even a few of them. But a lot of evidence can certainly let you know that something may be wrong, and you may want to look at little closer.

• Secret cell phone conversations are one of the top signs. If your partner leaves the room every time the cell phone rings, you have to wonder why. Were they taught that’s polite? If they’re at all strange acting about the conversation, you should pay attention.

• Sudden change in hygiene is common when someone is having an affair. If your partner never goes to any special trouble for you to make sure he or she looks and smells good, a change in this could be worrisome. If they’re making themselves nice for you, that’s great. If they’re dolling up to go out, you have to wonder why.

• More arguments can be one of the signs of cheating in a relationship. Particularly if it seems your partner is starting the argument for no reason and then storming out because of it. It could be just an excuse to leave and have some time away from you without having to come up with another excuse.

• Catching your partner in a lie can mean trouble. Even the smallest lie shows that person’s willingness to lie in general. Look for connections between that lie and the possibility of an affair.

• An increase in computer time can be a bad sign. If your partner is spending hours online after you’re in bed or while you’re doing other things, it could be an affair.

• A common sign of cheating is if your friends act strange. They might know something you don’t and feel uncomfortable around you.

• And a painfully common sign of cheating is if your partner accuses you of cheating or hints that he thinks you might be having an affair. Very often, that’s a guilty conscious talking and you’re being accused of the thing that’s causing him or her guilt.

The only way to know for sure is to have real evidence. So remember that even though these are common signs of cheating in a relationship, none of them can be used to prove an affair is occurring.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

4 Steps To Stop Your Divorce And Save Your Marriage

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4 Steps To Stop Your Divorce And Save Your Marriage


The thing you need to know is that it is not too late to stop your divorce. The break up of marriage is one of the worst things that can happen to a person, and it is all too common. More than half of all marriages today will end in divorce. When you consider that divorce is commonly regarded as one of the most stressful events that can happen in a person's life, even beyond the death of a dead one, this is a lot of heartache out there in the world.


The tragedy is that most of these breakups could have been prevented. You do not have to be a statistic. You can do something about it; you can stop your divorce. I won't say that it is going to be easy, but it is possible. You just have to follow the steps to rebuild what has been broken.
You can't expect to stop your divorce without a plan anymore than you can expect to build a house without blueprints. Fortunately, the help is available and it behooves you to take advantage of it. Your marriage does not have to fail. You can do something.


Step One: Find the Problem


You can't stop your divorce if you don't know why your marriage is falling apart. You need to work with your spouse to diagnose what is wrong with the marriage. This is a little harder than it sounds, because what you think might be the reason for the divorce is just a symptom.


Step Two: Fix the Problem


In many ways, this is the most important step. If you can't fix the problem, then you can't stop your divorce. Some problems can't be fixed, but most can. The reason most marriage ending problems don't get solved is that they are never identified. But you've already done that in step one. What you need to do know is work with your spouse to make the compromises that will save your marriage.


Step Three: Remember the Good Times


You're going to need to remind both your spouse and yourself why you were together to begin with. No matter how bad your marriage has gotten, there was a point when things were good. You should try to get back to that place, but you should always keep in mind that it existed.

Step Four: Start Over


The last step in your quest to stop your divorce is to begin again. You need to look at your marriage as a brand new marriage. While you should keep in mind the good times, you need to forget the bad times and learn about your spouse all over again. Things have changed, and you need to make your marriage work with the person you are married to, not the person you used to be married to or the person you wish they were. Accept them as they are, and work together to build a better, stronger marriage.
If you follow these four steps, you will be able to stop your divorce. If you need more help, then don't be afraid to look for it. There are systems out there to help fix what is broken in your relationship, and you need to be willing to use them.

Monday, February 22, 2010

4 Great Lessons From Relationships Experts

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4 Great Lessons From Relationships Experts


If you’ve read or listened to relationships experts, you know that some of what they say is just common sense. They tell us things we already know, but they’re great at putting it into words and examples that make things easier to understand. The best relationships experts just know how to communicate.


They can take those common sense things and say them in a way that makes you “get it.” Like the concept of what to expect and what to give in a relationship. This is one of the best lessons you can get from relationships experts.


Very often we go along in a relationship and as time goes on we start to take the other person for granted a little bit. We don’t thank them as much, and sometimes we don’t do nice things in return for them quite as much.


It’s not that we don’t want to, but that we simply forget or think there will be time later. After the relationship hit a rocky period and ended and you’ve gotten back together, remember to be thoughtful and kind becomes very important. Relationships experts stress that as a good way to keep a relationship strong.


A second great lesson from the experts is to do what the other person will appreciate. This is another great common sense lesson that’s all too easy to overlook. It applies to anytime during a relationship but after you’ve gotten back together from a break up or other bad patch it’s even more important.


To do what the other person wants doesn’t mean you should never consider yourself. But you should try to do what appeals to them to show them that you care. If it really makes you happy when your boyfriend helps you wash the dishes, then maybe if you helped him with some housework that would make him feel loved, too.


But there may be ways he likes to feel loved that are different. He might be the type of person who likes to hear you say it often, or likes romantic gestures. Even if those things aren’t as important to you, you need to do the things that are special to him.


Sometimes we forget that, or we just assume that everyone responds to the same things. But doing what makes the other person feel most special is easy to do, as long as we remind ourselves to do it.


And a lesson that the experts teach that often goes forgotten is respect. Of course, you respect your boyfriend or girlfriend, but does it always show? This is part of taking them for granted but goes beyond not thanking them or returning loving gestures.


Often, the person we’re closest to gets the brunt our worst days. We might be late for something and keep them waiting, or we might just accidentally be inconsiderate and not apologize enough. Take a lesson from the relationships experts and ask yourself if you treat your partner with the same respect you would treat a parents or co-worker.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

3 Positive Steps When Getting Back Together After A Break Up

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3 Positive Steps When Getting Back Together After A Break Up


Are you interested in getting back together after a break up? How are you feeling after just breaking up with your ex? Getting back together after a break up is possible if you really want to make it happen. If you love the other person and want to rekindle things, there are some considerations that you need to make. Start to think about getting back together after a break up and you will be reminded of what broke the relationship up in the first place. What will you do to rekindle the old flame?


You may feel like the best way to initiate getting back together after a break up is to call your ex up and beg for their return. This is not the way to go! You may think that the best course of action is to lock yourself in your home and cry until you've run out of tears. This isn't it either! If you're serious about getting back together after a break up, there is a better way to go. Here are the three best steps that you can pursue for getting back together after a break up!


1 - First and foremost, getting back together after a break up means accepting that what happened happened.
It may be hard for you to accept that the breakup happened, but you cannot continue the relationship the way its going. You need to accept that the breakup happened so that you can work on renewing things. Getting back together after a break up means ending the original relationship and then starting new rather than trying to rekindle things in the same way they were before.


2 - Secondly, getting back together after a break up does not begin with calling your ex!
Do not call your ex when you are working on getting back together after a break up. Let things cool down, regulate your emotions and work on thinking about what happened to cause the break up. Getting back together after a break up is going to mean figuring out what went wrong and rectifying it before you call. Work on improving the relationship in your mind, and do not call your ex until things have normalized in your heart and head.


3 - Finally, getting back together after a break up means planning for the right timing.
Once you are feeling like you are more prepared for getting back together after a break up, you can begin to plan the where and how. By the time you are prepared to rekindle things, you will have a better idea about whether you are still in love with him or her or not. Since everything has ended now, don't worry about who is at fault. Instead, focus on getting back together after a break up with positives in mind. Begin with casual conversation, a good friendship, and let things develop from there. If you take things slow and treat them positively, getting back together after a break up is easier than you would imagine.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Want Ex Back – Changing What Went Bad to Get My Ex Back

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Want Ex Back – Changing What Went Bad to Get My Ex Back


You are home after a date with yet another guy. It didn’t go well. You find yourself saying I want ex back.


After a break up, you may move on to other people. But, when you constantly find yourself thinking you want ex back, are there things you can do to rekindle an old relationship?
There are, and in this article, I present you with five strategies for when you want ex back.
First, clear your energy from other people. Don’t invest time and energy in men who aren’t your ex. For your old relationship to start working again, you have to prepare your mind, body and soul for him. If you are flirting with another guy, dating other men, or even worse, sleeping around, you are not preparing the proper mindset for getting your ex back.


Next, keep your dignity. Don’t chase your ex, flooding him with hundreds of text messages, calling him at odd times of day, or stalking him. Also, you need to make him respect you and treat you well. Don’t be a doormat. You will only command your ex’s respect and love when you are yourself at your best. Hold your head high. You will increase your chances of getting back together with your ex if you do.


Third, make a list of the things you appreciate about your ex and spend some time dwelling on them. Sometimes, a bad break up ends with all kinds of accusations. Now that you have some breathing room, start to concentrate on his good points. This is a good thing to do when you want ex back.


Next, when you get back together, try changing some of the circumstances. Go to new places and try new things. Take up a new hobby together. Meet new people. By changing the environment of your relationship, you have a better chance of making it work. Don’t fall into the same old patterns of your relationship. You may even want to tune your relationship down a notch. If you were living together, try having separate places for a while. If you were engaged, try just dating. Don’t try to force your relationship back into old patterns.


Finally, create a shared sense of destiny. While fate certainly plays a role in our lives, we are the ones who write our life script. Map out with your partner where you want to go. When you do this together, you create a mission with a place for both of you.


When you want ex back, you have to work with new scenarios. Follow the advice in this article if you want ex back.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I Lost Love – Every Relationship Has a Time Line

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I Lost Love – Every Relationship Has a Time Line

When I think about how I lost love, I think about Alfred Lord Tennyson’s quote, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” When I lost love, I felt the whole world had collapsed around me. I’m sharing my story in order to help you if you too have lost the love of your life.

I think it is important to remember that every relationship has a natural lifespan. In Junior High, that’s about four days. As we get older, the lifespan increases. But, there are certain relationships that are right for a period of time and then go awry. Most of us will only have one great love in our lives. The other relationships will terminate. That’s why when I say I lost love, I understand that this is a natural process.

In my case, my girlfriend and I were thinking about ratcheting up our relationship. Her lease was about to end, and she wanted to move into my apartment. As we were spending most of our time there anyway, it made sense from a financial perspective.

But there is something significant about having separate places. I know I lost love because I couldn’t handle her taking our relationship to this level. I guess the time span of our relationship was up because I wasn’t willing to become more committed.

Now, I know I handled the situation badly. I went to a friend’s bachelor party and let’s just say things got out of hand. Word about the wild antics at the party got back to my girlfriend, naturally, and she dumped me. I lost love over the events of one night.

But, when I think back on what really happened, the events of the bachelor party were really a reaction to our discussion of more commitment. I seriously don’t think I would have behaved the way I did if I really wanted her to move in. I lost love because I wasn’t ready for the direction it was taking.

I’m glad I had the chance to be in a relationship with my ex. But I don’t think she was the love of my life, my soul mate. Instead, she was someone with whom I genuinely enjoyed spending time. I loved her. I still love her. But, she is not the person with whom I see spending the rest of my life.

I went through a period of mourning the relationship and analyzing what went wrong. I really was hurt when she said she wanted to end things. Sure, I understood that I had hurt her. But, I didn’t want her to leave my life completely.

I guess what I wanted was for things to continue on the way they were. But, every relationship has to grow or die. Because I wasn’t willing to let it grow, it had to die. In every relationship, there is a time to die. And, for me, this was it. That’s how I lost love.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

How to Get Over Guy – The Steps for Moving On

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How to Get Over Guy – The Steps for Moving On


Are you having trouble get over guy? Whether he dumped you or you broke up with him, letting go of someone who you had a close relationship is very difficult. There is a space in your heart as well as a space in your life that are not quickly filled with anything or anyone else. Yet, people do get over a relationship. Here are five steps to get over guy you still like.


First, you need to let out the hurt. Know that it is okay to cry when you are trying to get over guy. Some people keep a journal of their experiences because writing about the pain helps.
One thing that I have seen some people do that is very effective is to write a long letter about the relationship to their ex boyfriend. Talk about the good times and bad. Talk about the relationship and how he hurt you. Let it all out. When you have finished the letter, burn it. That’s right. Don’t even think about sending it to your ex. Instead, let flames consume the letter. That provides excellent closure to the relationship.


Next, you have to decide that the relationship is really over. If you hold on to the thought that he will change and come back to you, you will never get over guy and move on.


Do something that symbolizes the finality of the end of the relationship. A good example of this is to exchange all of the personal property that you have of the other’s. Don’t even keep the oversized t-shirt of his that is so comfortable for sleeping in. And, if there are things to minor to exchange (like a toothbrush), throw them away. Clear your place of all of his things. It is a way of clearing him from your life.


You need to depend on your friends through this time. Until you meet your husband, guys will come and go, but your girlfriends are forever. If you have been in a hot and heavy relationship, you may have inadvertently ignored your friends for a time. Not only will your girls help you get over guy, but reconnecting will be good for your social life.


Also, your girlfriends will have had similar experiences to your break up. Sharing their pain will help you understand that, however bad the hurt you are experiencing, others have survived and you will too.


You will probably have extra time on your hands now that you have broken up. You used to spend a lot of time with your ex. Use this time productively to get over guy. Go to the gym and get your body in shape. Take up a new hobby.


One of the best things you can do during this period is to join a group or a class. Not only does a class take up the time you would have spent with your ex, but it also introduces you to a new circle of friends.


And, that brings me to my last point, when you want to get over guy, the best thing you can do is move on. Between your old friends, the new friends you make in your class or hobby, and the activities you do to fill up your time, you will emerge as a new person.
Moving on is the best way to get over guy.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Get Guy Back – A Gals Guide to Making Up

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Get Guy Back – A Gals Guide to Making Up


How do you get guy back? How do you convince him that what the two of you had together was special? This is your “get guy back” gal’s guide to making up.


First of all, you have to recognize that whatever happened, you were both at fault. If you cheated, he wasn’t giving you what you needed so you looked elsewhere. If he cheated, you were the one not giving what he needed. Yes, the cheater is morally culpable for the cheating. The moral responsibility does not lie with the person who was cheated upon. But the fault lies in both party’s laps.


Given that, it is important to forgive and forget. True forgiveness means that you let go of all of the anger related to the incident. You never bring it up again. You never let it cloud your relationship. If you cannot do this, you won’t get guy back for any period of time.
If you were the person at fault, apologize – and mean it. Too many times, after people say “I’m sorry,” there’s an “Oops I did it again,” moment. You’re not Britney Spears. It’s not cute. When you say you are sorry, you have to commit to changing. Otherwise, you don’t mean it and you won’t get guy back.


Be prepared to chase him a little bit. This doesn’t mean sending him hundreds of text messages or stalking him, but you have got to show him that you are still interested if you want to get guy back. You can’t expect him to come running back just because you have sent out some modest signals that you are ready to re-start the relationship. Put your ego in check and put your heart on the line.


You may have to settle for something less than you wanted. It may be that he is only ready to be friends when you want a full fledged boyfriend. It may take time to rebuild the trust. If this is the case, you need to give him the space he needs to get to know you again. Accept that you have to take what he is offering right now if you want to eventually get guy back.


Finally, you have to know when to give up on the get guy back strategy. Sometimes, you just have to move on. If your boyfriend is unable to forgive you, you are in a position where the best thing you can do is move on and enter into new relationships. While this will break your heart right now, it may be the best thing that could have happened to you. Whatever went wrong in this relationship, your soul mate is still out there. Get guy back may stop you from meeting him!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Dealing With Break Up – Causes Break Up Pain

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Dealing With Break Up – Causes Break Up Pain


Dealing with break up pain, any way that you look at it, is not going to be an easy or enjoyable task. A lot of people incorrectly believe that they will be able to manage their heartbreak, only to find out that carrying a torch for someone after a love affair is a lot like grieving, at least if you look at the relationship as having passed on. When it comes to dealing with a broken intimate relationship, it is important that you look past the pain and find a way to survive even when things seem impossible for the time being.


Relationship breakup puts a lot of people through fear and misery. Some of the people going through these feelings have no one in the world to turn to, and this is why people suffer so hard from heartbreak in the first place. Dealing with break up pain all by yourself can seem impossible at first, but consider how many people deal with love and loss in their lives and survive to talk about it. You too will be able to get over what feels like a crippling break up, but only if you are willing to deal with heartbreak pain the right way, and the healthy way for that matter.


So why is the pain from a lost love break up so difficult? Because when dealing with a break up, it will seem as if you are the only one who has suffered the kind of pain you’re going through. It is important that you continue to try to heal rather than allowing yourself to give up on the situation. Dwelling on the painful split from your lover will not help you, so instead you should work on getting better and moving on, which will allow you to stop dealing with break up pain and start dealing with moving on and finding someone new, perhaps even someone that has a better dynamic with you.


* Spend time with your friends and let them help you get your mind off your heartbreak.


* Don't dwell on the bad feelings, but focus on the good parts of your life in order to promote healing.


Your friends will probably realize that you're going through something serious, and they will more than likely dedicate themselves to trying to help you through it. If this is the case, don't blow them off, because going out and spending time with your friends and the people that you care about will be extremely helpful when it comes to dealing with break up pain. Everyone goes through a period where they are dealing with break up pain, because everyone goes through a breakup. Rather than allow yourself to suffer while dealing with breaking up pain, what you should do is enjoy yourself and work on healing rather than allowing yourself to become stressed out, overwhelmed or depressed by your heartbreak.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Can I Save My Marriage – Its Up To You

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Can I Save My Marriage – Its Up To You


It is depressing to see many marriages that are in turmoil, and it is especially disconcerting to see them end up as messy divorces, so you may ask how can I save my marriage? Filing for divorce is not the solution for when a marriage has hit its pushing limits. There are a number of solutions that require that both partners to be fully committed in saving the relationship that they have. The first step is counseling, which enables the couple to have a mediator in dealing with their issues.


In addition to professional services, there are a number of different things that can be done to save a marriage, it is not a complicated process and does not require much outside of both parties working towards the common goal. Below are four things that you can take to heart and utilize to "save my marriage" and improve the odds of successfully avoiding divorce.


First, know that the perfect marriage is a myth. Whenever two people are brought together, there will be problems, including the few that can grow into deal breakers in your marriage. This is a natural result of bringing two people together. Even perfect twins differ in likes and dislikes. For the marriage to succeed, the couple must learn to deal with the rough patches and overcome their problems. Seeking perfection will only destroy everything. People make mistakes, work with your partner and overcome the problems you face, and you'll realize it is possible to "save my marriage."


Second, good communication is vital, for when the communication is insufficient; the marriage is doomed to face problems. The most vital thing is to be honest with your partner. Just about every issue and problem can be solved if communication is maintained. The third tip is to accept compromise. Many have made this an art, with good reason. The middle ground that will enable a conclusion to the conflict has to mesh with both parties and their interests before it can "save my marriage." Marriage on a whole is about compromise and knowing that there are times when your spouse will have to give and times when you have to give in order to "save my marriage."
Really, a marriage is about commitment, the fourth tip. Like a car, if it breaks down, you don't abandon the car on the side of the road. The only time you do get rid of the car is when there is no hope. Saving your marriage involves the same level of commitment and working towards making things work, if you ever have a chance to "save my marriage."


Sometimes, the damage to the marriage totals it, and no matter what you do, nothing can change it. Some issues cannot be solved, counseling cannot help. It is in these cases that divorce makes sense. Out side of these cases, divorce is not the answer. Instead, you should work with your partner to solve the issues that plague your marriage, and hopefully you will be able to say that you can "save my marriage."

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Get Guy Back - Get Him Back After A Breakup

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Get Guy Back - Get Him Back After A Breakup


If you were recently involved in a breakup but you want to get guy back, then you need to listen up because the next actions that you engage in are going to be vital in determining whether or not you can get him back.


This can be a difficult time for you to deal with once your man has broken up with you.
You probably do not even fell like your own self at this point. Life may even seem to have lost its meaning entirely. If you want to get guy back, your options are rather limited because the next few actions that you engage in will determine whether or not your relationship even stands a chance.


Getting back together with someone who has broken up with you is a task that can be relatively difficult if you do not know what you are doing. If your ex decided that he no longer wanted to be with you, it may be difficult for you to get guy back, but you can still try if you feel so inclined.
That being said, you need to know what steps to take in order to get guy back once you have been broken up with. First and foremost you need to make sure that getting back together with him is really what you are looking for. Is getting back together with him really what you want in your life right now, or will you benefit from some space and time?


The most critical aspect for you to consider beyond this when you want to get guy back is to realize that while sometimes relationships work sometimes they do not. Some people are capable of making up and moving on with the relationship while others simply cannot rekindle things as they would like.


Even if you do not succeed, it will still be worthwhile to make an attempt to get guy back, so at least you can say that you tried even if the relationship does not find a way to be rekindled in the future.


One of the best things that you can do in order to get guy back is to stop worrying or acting desperately about the situation. Simply admit to yourself that whatever is going to happen is going to happen. Don't worry what he is doing or feel bad that he's away, but work on living your own life instead.


You need to prove to him that you are capable of being mature about the break up if you want to get guy back. This is the most important thing that you can do, even if it is difficult or stressful.
Try to limit contact with him when you are trying to get guy back, so he will know that you are capable of moving on. This will remind him of how much he enjoyed having you in his life, and he will begin to miss you. If the relationship is meant to be, then it will be.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Get Guy Back After a Breakup

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Get Guy Back After a Breakup


It can be a difficult time after a man breaks up with you. You probably don't feel or even act like yourself at this point. Life almost seems like it has lost its meaning with him in it. Maybe you want to get guy back.


Getting back with someone who broke up with you can be a very difficult task. For whatever reason, the other person decided that they no longer wanted to try and work things out. They just wanted it to end. It's usually easier to work out a relationship while you're still in it; as opposed to when it has ended.


With that being said, you can get guy back if he broke up with you. The most critical aspect to this is you are absolutely positive that getting back with him is exactly what you want. Make sure your motives for getting back with him are the right ones. Don't want him back just to have him back. Make sure that there are very good reasons why you want him back.

The second most critical aspect to get guy back is to realize that sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Some people can make up and move on. Others, they just can't recapture the magic of the relationship they once shared. Even if you don't succeed you will know you did your best to get guy back.


If you want to get guy back, you must, and there is no room for negotiation on this, get your emotions in check. Guys do not want to be with women who can't keep their emotions under control. If you attempt to contact him while you don't have control of your emotions you may do even more damage. For example, if he was starting to miss you and think about you, but you contact him and you're an emotional mess, you may make him realize that his choice to break up with you was valid.


The best thing you can do is instead of worrying about what he's doing, or feel sad that you don't have him, is to start living your own life. You must prove to him that you can be mature about this breakup. Keep up with your daily routines. Do your hair nice, wear makeup, wear clothes that make you feel good about yourself. Hang out with your friends.


If you're staying active and living your life without bothering him, you will have a better chance to get him back. If you stay out of contact with him, no calls, no email, no text messages, nothing, you'll probably find that he will eventually call you, or get in touch with you.


When he does, just keep it brief. Tell him how busy you've been. Don't get mushy or gush out feelings for him. Act indifferent and aloof. This will confuse him. If he wants to see you again, make sure you look your best. Don't let him touch you or kiss you. Before you leave, if you want, give him a hug but that's it. This will drive him crazy. From this point, you should be able to get guy back pretty easily. Just take it slow.


As you can see, you can get guy back, you just have to get your emotions under control. Life your life to the fullest. Always look your best, because that will help you to feel your best. Back off, give him space. He'll most likely contact you and want to see you again. When he does, be a little bit of a tease. Make him work for your affections again.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Getting an Ex Back When You Were the One Who Dumped Him

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Getting an Ex Back When You Were the One Who Dumped Him

Getting an ex back is hard if you were the one being dumped. But imagine how you would feel if you were the one who did the dumping? That is the position that Aimee found herself in and she had to go about getting an ex back.

Aimee’s so called friend Renee told her that her boyfriend Jaime had been sleeping with another woman. Without verifying the information or even asking Jaime about it, Aimee confronted Jaime and accused him of having an affair. This took Jaime by complete surprise because he had no inkling that the rumor was circulating, and he didn’t do a good job of defending himself. Aimee unceremoniously dumped him.

A few days later, Aimee found out that Renee had been lying for her own jealous, petty reasons. Now Aimee was in a quandary. Getting an ex back was important to her, but she also wanted to save face.

Aimee called up Jaime and explained what had happened. But Jaime was in no mood to take her back. Aimee had hurt him by not trusting him and not even talking things over with him.
Getting an ex back took all of Aimee’s wiles.

First of all, Aimee wrote Jaime a long letter of apology. She took responsibility for what happened and promised that it would never happen again. She reminded Jaime that they had a long history together and that they had shared some beautiful times. She said that she didn’t want to throw all of that away. She told him that the reason she acted the way she did was because she loved him and couldn’t stand the though of his being with another woman. The thought of losing him forever was painful.

After she had mailed the letter, she didn’t bother him with constant texts or phone calls. She figured that getting an ex back after a situation like this one required that she give Jaime his space.

When she did run into Jaime, she was as nice as she could be. She worked positive memories into the conversation casually. She didn’t apologize any further though. She had told him both in person and in writing that she was sorry and let it go at that.

One day, Aimee got tickets for Jaime’s favorite band which was in town for one concert only. She asked Jaime to go with her “just as friends.” In this way, she opened the door to a future relationship without crowding him.

Getting an ex back after you have behaved badly and dumped him is difficult. Not only do you have the embarrassment of having to apologize, but you almost have to start from scratch again on the relationship. Rebuilding the trust is a key component in this period.

Jaime and Aimee did eventually get back together. Jaime came to see that Aimee’s outburst was the act of a jealous woman who deeply loved him. He saw it as a mistake that they could both grow from. Their relationship became stronger than ever.

Aimee took the right approach to getting an ex back.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Getting CPR For Marriage In Crisis

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Getting CPR For Marriage In Crisis

A marriage in crisis is difficult to handle as it seems that what was once full of life is now suffering and on the brink of dying. When you are dating, new love seems to have a life of it's own. Everything being so new feels like a new life has begun has the two of you have started a “new life” together.

When you get married, it seems like everything just falls into place and everything makes sense. When times get tough, though, and and the marriage begins to struggle it can seem like the new life is starting to get old and may die out. If you aren't ready for your life together to die, your marriage in crisis may need to get C.P.R.

Get Counseling:

One of the most underutilized and overlooked opportunities for a marriage in crisis is getting marriage counseling. Marriage counseling will go a long ways towards helping you not only find resolution to your conflicts but will help the two of you find ways to grow closer together. Marriage counseling will help you be better able to understand each other.

Marriage counseling will also help you find better ways to express yourself in such a way that you don't come across as attacking each other. It could very well be, though, that one of you has some serious issues that is putting your love and relationship at risk. For those issues you may want to get therapy on your own. It may be hard to do because you will have to swallow your pride but if you are serious about saving the marriage in crisis, you will want and need to do this.

Get Perspective:

For a marriage in crisis, one of the most important thing that needs to be done is to get some perspective on what is happening. This is one area that a marriage counselor will be helpful because it will help you to look at things and situations from other perspective.

From where you are standing things may look pretty clear. However, once you are able to see from another angle, things that you couldn't understand before may make a lot of sense. Getting perspectives from other angles and vantage points will really be helpful in helping you fully understand what is happening so that you can then save the marriage in crisis.

Get Resolve:

Once you have been able to get some perspective on the crisis at hand and are getting counseling, you will have a lot of information and ideas to go off of. Those will help repair the damage that is done IF you are able to act on it. Knowing is half the battle but no battle half fought was ever won.

If you see a drowning person and you not only know how to swim but know CPR and are trained in first aid, you may know everything you need to know to help save that person's life. Will that knowledge save them? Only if it is acted upon.

The same thing is true with your marriage. It just takes you acting upon it and getting resolved the issues that were killing your marriage. A marriage in crisis can only be saved if you act to make things better.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

He Dumped Me How Will I Ever Survive

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He Dumped Me How Will I Ever Survive

If you are saying "he dumped me. How will I ever survive?" mere words in an article will not give you comfort. It may help to know that while you’ve broken up, you are not a broken person.
When you’ve been in the position that "he dumped me," you have two fears. The first is that you will never recover from the pain. The second is that no one will ever love you again.

Take heart, dear. The fear is real. The pain is real. But, the situation exists in your head, not in the real world. While one part of your life may be over, your life is not over.

You still have friends and family who care about you. In fact, you now have more time to spend with them. Many times, when you get into an involved romantic relationship, we lose touch with the other people who bring meaning to your life. You now have a chance to reconnect with them.
In fact, sharing your loss with them may encourage them to share their break up experiences with you. When you say, "he dumped me," that allows them to be vulnerable about how they've been hurt. You will begin to see that your pain is not unique. You will also be able to see that other people have lived full and complete lives after a break up.

In addition to having more time for others who you care about, you will have more time to work on the issues in your life. Many times, when you are in a relationship, the activities you care about get pushed aside if your boyfriend isn't interested in them. This is a good time to get re-involved in the things that matter to you.

If no particular activity comes to mind, then maybe you need to get a hobby! No, really, when you say "he dumped me," what you tell yourself is that you are worthless. When you take up a new activity and invest in yourself, you prove to yourself that you matter.

There are all kinds of activities you can get involved with. The best thing to do is to join a group, class, or workshop. For instance, joining a hiking club will let you meet lots of people who enjoy the great outdoors. A ballroom dancing class will introduce you to people who enjoy the finer things in life. A writer’s workshop will be filled with creative types.

As you begin to re-engage with the world, you will lose the sense of desperation you felt when he dumped you. You will make new friends who share a common interest. And, you may even meet someone special to spend your time with.

The truth is that you will find someone to date again. Your soul mate is out there.
Your ex may have done you a favor by breaking up with you because now you have a chance to find someone who fits you better.

And, always remember, the best revenge when "he dumped me" is moving on!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Heartbroken Poem To Help You Heal

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Heartbroken Poem To Help You Heal


If you’ve ever been through a sad break-up with someone you’ve love, you may have written a heartbroken poem. You may have even written such a poem for things like the loss of a pet or a family member, sadness at moving away from your friends, or any number of sad life events. But it seems nothing inspires such sad poetry as a break-up or divorce. Just as few things inspire love poetry quite like being in a happy, loving relationship.


Poetry is an excellent medium for self-expression. Unless you’re writing poetry with the hope of having it published one day, you can write poetry however you like. It doesn’t have to be good poetry. You don’t have to understand any of the poetic terms or conventions like rhyme, meter or free verse. You don’t even have to have ever read a really good poem in your life to write a heartbroken poem that can help you feel better and maybe help you heal from the pain of a break-up.


An important early step in getting over a break-up or any sad situation is simply facing the pain. While it might feel better to avoid dealing with the reality of the situation, you can’t really move past it without facing it and feeling the pain, at least for a while. So facing up to whatever painful situation is happening is necessary. A heartbroken poem can help you deal with those painful feelings when you’ve split with someone you love.


Don’t worry about whether it’s good or not. No one else ever has to read your heartbroken poem. It’s for you and you alone. Just write down your feelings, as hard as that may be. You can write in plain language. Don’t try to imitate the poets of the 17th and 18th century. Write like you talk, and break the lines where it feels natural to you. In fact, you can start by writing one huge paragraph filled with all your feelings and everything you want to express, just to get it out. Then you can go back and arrange your thoughts and feelings into a poem.


Once you’ve written a heartbroken poem, you might want to write more about different parts of the pain. That’s good. Get down everything you can, and that will help you to face the pain. Writing the poetry will probably be a very emotional time for you. Don’t try to stop it. Just let the pain out and you’ll be better able to move on.


If you decide you want to share your heartbroken poem, you can show family or friends. Or if you want to share it but not with anyone you know, you can put it online. There are websites designed just for such things. You can upload your poetry for free and let other people know if you want to receive criticism or not. You might opt to not receive comments on your heartbroken poem and just enjoy the fact that you’ve shared your experience.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Helping You and Your Boyfriend Get Back Together

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Helping You and Your Boyfriend Get Back Together


You want you and your boyfriend to get back together. Do you feel lost without him? Are you feeling lonely now that he is gone? Are you desperate to get him back? If you want you and your boyfriend to get back together then you may need to change the way you approach him and the situation. If things went very fast and marriage seemed like a sure thing, he may have gotten scared off.


It could very well be that he felt smothered and didn't have enough space or didn't feel like he was in control, of his future. It could also be that you are pressuring him too much now and all he wants is to be away from you. Hopefully this is the case but if you push too much it very well could be. If what you want is you and your boyfriend get back together you have to be aware of this.


Your boyfriend may be like many males and thrive on being independent. They need their space from time to time. While the idea of marriage and commitment may have seemed appealing to them for a moment, reality could have set in and now they are feeling trapped. Males very often need to feel in charge. They need to feel in charge of not only themselves, but of situations.


If things start getting fast they don't feel so in control anymore. Once marriage or long term commitment starts getting discussed it is easy to feel that you are getting sucked into something if you don't feel ready. If they feel they aren't ready, they most likely aren't. If they feel like they are getting pushed down a road they don't think they want to go yet, they may push themselves away.


If he has pushed himself away and you really want you and your boyfriend get back together you are likely going to have to be secretive and sensitive about it. You will have to decide that you don't want to force him down the road. You want him to just walk with you and let him feel he is taking the lead. He needs to feel like he is choosing this direction.


Since there is no direction right now and you are dealing with a break up, now is actually a good time to get started back down that path. He may feel free and clear of you and to an extent very well may be. If he has any desire to talk with you and you are still on a friendly basis, just be available, but not too available. If he is going to call you, make it seem like you are hard to get on the phone. If he wants to make some plans with you, turn him down at first but ask for a rain check. The goal is to make him seem like he is pursuing you. Let him be in the hunt.


Also let him have something to hunt for. Sometimes the things most desired are the things that are hard to get. Those will also be the things that makes them more likely to go in for the kill which is what you want him to do. You want him to commit and if you make yourself someone worth hunting and let yourself be hunted and not necessarily caught, you may see you and your boyfriend get back together.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

How To Get Guy Back If Hes Walked Out On You

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How To Get Guy Back If Hes Walked Out On You


Finished with your guy? Want to desperately get guy back? Then you're going to have to use a strategy that will help you get him back and not cause him to head for the hills!


Firstly remember that just because you want him back it doesn't mean that he wants to come back. If you've broken up before and your relationship has become a breakup/makeup merry go round, pretty soon one or both of you will want to one day get off that particular ride for good. So, there is a chance that he might have reached this point, no matter what you now feel and want.


Secondly to get guy back you're really going to have to look at the relationship as a whole, not just the parts you're comfortable looking at, because only then can you begin to find out what's causing the problems.


If you need outside third party help to scrutinize your relationship, then it's always worthwhile getting that help. If you have good and honest friends who will tell you what you need to hear, as opposed to what you want to hear, then talk to them.


You should also understand that to pull this off you're going to have to stop acting on whim and emotion and start working a well thought out proven plan. This is probably the most crucial step you will need to take, so get yourself under control. Sit down and plan to do whatever it takes to stop yourself running around making things worse – stop calling him, texting him and trying to force him to see you because begging and pleading won't work.


Instead, occupy yourself by getting out and meeting new people, take a class, get fit, whatever it takes to help you re-focus and approach the whole situation from a point of clarity and calmness, is what you need to do.


Especially take the time to look at why you want to get guy back, because to be honest, too many people find themselves back with their exs only to discover a few weeks down the line that they have made a huge mistake. So just because you want to get guy back right now, ask yourself if you really should?


If you've come to the conclusion that getting this guy back is the right move for you, then once you have yourself under control and you've thought things through, then your next move is to call and talk to him.


Understand that he may very well need more time before he is ready to speak to you never mind, entertain the idea of rekindling your relationship. Your goal, if this happens, is not to force the situation. Instead, tell him that you understand completely and then tell him you will give him more time to think things through. Leave it at that and continue living your life and keeping yourself busy.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

How To Apologize To Get Someone Back

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How To Apologize To Get Someone Back


To get someone back when they've walked out on you, doesn't have to be difficult. It doesn't matter if they walked out a few days ago or a few months ago. The same principles still apply. All that needs to be done is for you to be determined and committed to your cause and you take the necessary action.


Your first action is going to be to figure out what went wrong and what was your role in what went wrong. This isn't about blaming for blames sake, it's about figuring out what you need to do to apologize and to make things right. Remember it takes two to make a relationship and two to break a relationship, so be honest with yourself and take your share of the blame.


The bottom line is that to get someone back, you're going to need an effective top draw apology. The apology must, in effect serve two ends: an explanation of why you're sorry and a further explanation of the plan you're going to implement so that the same wrong behavior never occurs again. Get these two planks right and your apology will work for you.


Explaining to your ex about why you're sorry for what has happened, means that you have taken the time to sit and figure out what your ex found so objectionable about your behavior. If you find it difficult to dispassionately figure this out, then you might need to go and talk to a professional about the specifics of your situation.


A professional can help you see things from the point of view of your ex and if you want to get someone back, this could be the key. What this doesn't mean is that you become a doormat for your ex and agree with whatever they say and whatever they object to. That is why it is good to have a professional third party look at the situation and give you their thoughts. If they believe your ex has a point about an aspect of your behavior, then they will tell you and go they may even go on and work with you to change that behavior.


The second part of your apology, as said, involves explaining to your ex how what happened will never happen again. This is when you present your ex with the plan that you have put in place to ensure no repeat of what happened. When your ex hears about your well thought out plan, as you attempt to get someone back, it will be in your favor. Your ex will see that you are serious and sincere in what you're saying. So if you are working with a professional, this is a great indicator to your ex that there is hope for a second chance.


Above all, be honest and sincere and your second chance with your ex will be far more likely.

Monday, January 18, 2010

How To Come Back Stronger Than Ever After Infidelity

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How To Come Back Stronger Than Ever After Infidelity


After infidelity, a relationship is going to be at its weakest point, but it is possible to come back from it. Infidelity is one of the major reasons that relationships fall apart, but the truth is that cheating is almost always a symptom of something bigger. As bad as cheating is, it's not what you need to focus on to restore your relationship after infidelity.


Cheating is usually a sign that the person doing the cheating is looking for something they're not getting from the relationship. This isn't saying that the partner who was cheated on is doing anything wrong, just that there is a major problem in bedrock of the relationship.


If you are going to come back after infidelity, then there are a few tips you need to follow in order to make the process as easy and effective as possible.


Tip One: Take Charge


If you want to repair your relationship after infidelity, then you need to take charge. The cheating might not have been your fault, but the responsibility for fixing things is going to have to fall on you. You can't make your partner do something, so you can't just sit back and hope that things will fix themselves.


This will also help you to feel better about the relationship. Being cheated on makes you feel like a victim, and taking charge to repair your relationship will give you back the strength and pride that cheating took away.


Tip Two: Don't Play the Blame Game


The human thing is to want to blame the cheater and heap all your emotions on to them. While this may help you feel better, it won't help you rebuild your relationship after infidelity. You need to put away blame and move past it.


This can be difficult, but the best thing you can do is not expect an apology and don't fish for one. You'll get one, if the relationship can be saved, but if you spend timing trying to get them to admit how much they hurt you, you won't be spending the time you need to be spending fixing the relationship.


Tip Three: Find the Reasons Why


Infidelity is a sign that something is broken in your relationship. Even if you manage to get over the cheating and get back together, if you don't fin d out what caused it, then your relationship is going to fail.


This will take brutal honesty on both of your parts, and it's important that you try to keep your emotions in check. Your partner's reasons are going to sound like excuses, but if you keep communicating you will eventually be able to find the truth about what needs to be fixed in your relationship.


Tip Four: Learn to Trust Again


In many ways, this is the toughest thing to do after infidelity. The trust has been broken, and it will be hard to get it back, but you need to be able to trust your partner again. No relationship has ever succeeded based on suspicion and paranoia.


There are many resources available to help you recover after infidelity, and you should make use of them. Repairing your relationship is hard enough, no matter what, so take the extra step and get the help you need to make things good again.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

How To Deal With Relationships Depression

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How To Deal With Relationships Depression

Relationships depression is pretty common when you’re in a relationship that has recently had problems like a break up or separation. You might feel that it’s crazy to feel this way, because you’ve saved the relationship and are still together. You’re supposed to feel happy, not suffering from relationships depression.


But it’s fairly common because no matter how good the relationships might be going now you recently had a rocky patch. If your biggest fear then was that you would lose the other person, you should be happy, right? You’re still together. So why the relationships depression?


Going through that rough period can be devastating. You feel all sorts of emotions. If cheating was involved, the break up or cooling off period was probably even worse. If you were cheated on, you know there’s nothing more painful that can happen over the course of a relationship.


And if you were cheating on and you forgave that person to stay in the relationship, it’s going to take some time to fully heal. No wonder you feel depressed! You’re putting yourself out there again after being hurt.


If you cheated and the other person forgave you, maybe you feel depressed because you hurt them and its just now sinking in? Or maybe you feel hounded, as if he or she suspects your every move? You also might be unhappy because maybe you really didn’t want to stay in the relationship and you’re only now becoming aware of it.


If no cheating was involved, depression can still strike and make you feel bad. For whatever reason, you or your partner weren’t together, or were considering breaking up. That’s a hard pill to swallow!


You’re faced with knowing that maybe the other person was going to decide to live without you. Even though in the end they decided to stay with you, that they were considering something else is a painful thing!


And sometimes relationships depression is brought on by fear. When things were over or almost over, you felt horrible. And you remember that feeling now. You might imagine, without really knowing it, how you would have felt if the relationship had not gotten back together.
The fear of that happening now or what you would be feeling now if it had can make you depressed. That’s a natural reaction.


And overall, a break up is one of the most painful things a person can go through, no matter what the reason. Even if you didn’t officially split, things were tense enough that the possibility was there. When a relationship ends, you go through the same thought processes and emotions as you do with any painful ending, like a death.


So it’s a very difficult life challenge to have a break up or a near break up. It’s great that you’ve worked it out and gotten back together. Just stay strong in the relationship. Make sure that’s where you really want to be, and the relationships depression will pass.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

How To Get Back With Your Ex When All Looks Lost

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How To Get Back With Your Ex When All Looks Lost


When all looks lost and you're trying to figure out how to get back with your ex, one of the things you need to hold onto is that 95% of all relationships that look as if they're well and truly over, need not be. There is always hope, all it takes is for at least one person wanting to save the relationship and it can be saved.


The first key to figuring out how to get back with your ex is to leave your ex alone for at least a month - if at all possible longer than a month will work even better. So break all contact with them and give your ex plenty of time to think things through.


Often times in the heat of the breakup things get said and positions get taken that given time, are soon relinquished as reasoning takes over. So if you want to get to the heart of how to get back with your ex then seriously, give yourself and your ex some time.


If you don't allow for this space to think and you continue trying to push the issue to get your ex back before the time is right, then what will happen is that the more you push, the harder your ex will push back. Remember, your ex has walked out on the relationship and clearly demonstrated that they need time to think and be left alone, give them that time.


If you're worried that all looks lost because your ex is dating someone else, then you need to remember and hold onto the fact that a lot of rebound relationships just don't last. Chances are your ex is dating that person as a way to convince themselves that their relationship with you is really over. However, just because they're trying to convince themselves their relationship with you is over for good. Guess what? It doesn't mean that it is.


It is a statistical fact that rebound relationships are fraught with difficulties and very rarely work because the person on the rebound is still emotionally connected to their ex. So don't waste a whole lot of time worrying about someone your ex is currently dating.


The truth is getting your ex back is more about the two of you than anyone else, so make sure that you keep on top of your appearance, you're not doing anything to alienate your ex and that you're appearing in control and pretty soon you will have stopped wondering how to get your ex back, because they'll be back with you.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

How To Get Lover Back Even If You Made Mistakes

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How To Get Lover Back Even If You Made Mistakes


It is quite common for the person left to not really realize they are deeply in love with their ex until the ex has left the relationship. If this is you, then you no doubt want to discover how to get lover back before it's too late. But what you must not do is to allow the fact that you have made some mistakes to stop you in your attempt. It is very well documented that most of the relationships that break up could very easily be put back together again, if only one of those involved actually tried. So try!


There are some basic steps that you can take when you're looking into how to get lover back, you simply have to make sure that you get the details of these steps correct and that you spend a sufficient amount of time going through each step. How much time, varies from situation to situation and the real truth is that only you can judge the time that you think you might need.
If the relationship was a tumultuous up and down messy emotional one, then it is going to need a longer time to get over the initial mess of the break up. Longer than if your relationship was stable and less exacting. So be honest with yourself and be clear about what kind of relationship you had with your ex, because the truth right here will go a long way to helping you figure out how to get lover back.


A clue is that most people need at least a month on their own without contact with their ex to start the healing process. Don't try and bypass this alone time because without it most attempts at how to get lover back fail.


You are going to spend your alone time looking at the mistakes that you might have made and you are going to forgive yourself for those mistakes. If you try and get back with your ex and you have not forgive yourself, then how is it possible for your ex to fully forgive you. So be kind to yourself, accept your fallibility and forgive yourself.


That doesn't mean that you just draw a line under any mistakes that you may have made and forget about them. It means that you should then go on to figuring out how you can avoid such mistakes in the future, if the same or similar situations arise. Because you really do not want to get into a cycle of the same old things that keep on happening.


Once you're confident that you have the emotions and the reasons behind your mistakes sorted out, you are then ready to go ahead and actually make contact with your ex and ask to talk to them.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

How To Get Lover Back In Love

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How To Get Lover Back In Love


The time at the beginning of a love affair are the best and usually the brightest part of the romance. Everything seems so new and exciting and there is this anticipation that both parties feel wondering if this is “the one.” This point in the relationship is usually called the honeymoon period. It just never seems like it last long enough. Before too long, if there is something at stake in the romance, one or both of them will be asking how to get lover back in love.


After reality sets in there comes some disappointments and with that comes the realization that this isn't as perfect as you had hoped or thought. The ideal relationship that they once thought this was becomes a bit of a disappointment.


For some it takes years before they realize that the flame that had once burned so bright now is but a slowly dying ember. This is usually the point when a lot of marriages or long term relationships will see troubles such as infidelity or possibly a divorce or break up.


For those who aren't willing to let that happen or for those who that has recently happened the thing that they need to do I get help. Get relationship advice from someone who has been there and gotten through it or from someone with ideas that can bring a spark back. Ask someone some help on how to get lover back in love. If you ask how to get lover back in love, you will probably hear some suggestions like increase your communication, take a trip together, or talk about old times.


Communication


It should be one of the most obvious things that you need to do when you want to know how to get lover back to loving you. It doesn't have to be these long, drawn out discussions about what went wrong or something that is bound to bring confrontational feelings out. Small talk is good. Talk about your day. Ask open ended questions about things that will need more than just a quick 'yes' or 'no' answer.

Take A Trip Together


One of the greatest bonding activities is going on a road trip. You could try going somewhere that the two of you used to go early on in the relationship or somewhere brand new. It doesn't matter if it is just a short trip or long one, good can come out of it. It can be a great step towards finding out how to get lover back and the romance alive again.


Talk About The Old Times


It can be a lot of fun to go and take that old drive down memory lane and just ponder all the things that the two of you used to do. Go back and visit the places that meant something to you back when things were new and exciting. Play an old song or album or movie that had some special meaning to you. Make it seem like some random event or something you just thought of.
There are many more things that you could do but one thing that will really help is just breaking up the routine. The key to making these plans work is to make them seem like spontaneous events. Make the road trip together random. “Stumble upon” the old music or movie and just start playing it. “Accidentally” open a box that has some old memorabilia that will spark a conversation about the old times. The key to finding out how to get lover back and in love comes with setting things in place for the two of you to “fall in love” again.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

How To Get My Boyfriend Back After I Drove Him Away

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How To Get My Boyfriend Back After I Drove Him Away


One of the questions that you may ask yourself is how to get my boyfriend back. The practice of dating is full of ups and downs, and most of the downs are the result of a misunderstanding. So when you are trying to figure out what went wrong, here are some clues as to where men get the wrong message and end up backing off.


Many men back off for a reason that seems counter intuitive. By trying too hard to please the guy, serving his every need, in the end you are selling yourself as a doormat in his eyes. The idea is to be respectful with who you are, and how you sell yourself. That is not to say you should be dominant, but that you should say that being someone who is respectable is how to get my boyfriend back. Men do like to be treated well at times, but they want women who can standup for themselves.


Another thing that will send them away is to talk about your ex's. Men are competing when they are dating. They are thinking of the other men who are potential competitors to their efforts, so when you mention other men in your life you are giving them something to compare against. Again, this is not to say you should not say anything. Background and personal history is important. Knowing that you dated one man throughout high school and college is important. Telling your date that he is a football player with 20 awards, his game stats, where his tattoos are, etc. is too much. Focusing on one ex will sell the idea that either you still have feelings for him, or if it is all negative, you will cause your date to over analyze themselves.


Business like behavior, or conversely being too promiscuous, will work against you. The general ideal is a lady like or feminine behavior. Too much on the skin side can work against you, but being boyish will also push away prospects. You should be feminine, conservative, and someone who is not cheap or intimidating.


Pressuring him is another turn off. This includes trying to get him to define his role and analyze who he is and how he feels. Men tend not to like having their feelings challenged, and if he has an idea that is proven wrong, then it can send him packing.


Another thing to send him packing is to try and change him. You can't. Men think that being steady means that you want him for him, so trying to change him is going to tell him he has a serious problem. Even if he does not have a problem, trying to change him will challenge his feelings and strip him of who he is. Let him be him. If you need something else, find someone else.


No one is perfect, and no relationship is perfect; but when you are trying to figure out how to get my boyfriend back, these are steps to make sure you do not scare him off.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

How To Get Over Someone You Love

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How To Get Over Someone You Love


If you want to know how to get over someone you love, you must realize that none of the answers are easy ones. No matter how ready you might think you are to move on and get over that person, that you have to ask how to do it at all shows that it’s going to be a painful process. Sometimes it’s a slow process, too. You might think you’re over someone and a year or two later be reminded of that person and feel all the pain and sadness again. That doesn’t mean you’re not over the person, though.


If you’ve had a lot emotionally invested into a relationship and it ends, it’s something that can potentially make you feel sad for years. Maybe even for the rest of your life. But that doesn’t mean the sadness has to be paralyzing or has to throw you into a depression. By getting over the person, you can realize that losing them made you sad, and look back on it as you would any sad loss. It’s the period of time soon after the loss that should be the hardest, that makes you ask how to get over someone you love.


If the break-up is new, often the only way to deal with it is just to face the pain and ride it out. It’s going to hurt, no matter what you do. But there are some things you can do to lessen the pain. You can remove obvious visual reminders of the person, if possible. Photographs of them can be put away for a while. Gifts they gave you can be stored instead of displayed. You can even avoid the places you used to go together for a while. This tip can be found in pretty much every list that explains how to get over someone you love, so it’s at least a popular idea that’s worth a try.


If you’re really having trouble living your life after the break-up, it might be necessary to seek counseling. Simply explain that you’ve just been through a painful break-up and ask the counselor how to get over someone you love. They can offer helpful advice, and can be more specific that generic lists about how to get over someone you love. A counselor can also probably offer better advice than friends or family.


Your friends and family might feel they know your situation too well. Some may have motives for help you get over the person. They might not have liked that you were in the relationship to begin with, so they might want you to get over things or move on to another person too quickly. With a counselor, though, you can safely tell them things about the relationship you probably don’t want friends or family to even know.

Feel free to go to counseling for as long as you need to. If the counselor feels you’re spending too much time dwelling on how to get over someone you love, they’ll tell you.

Monday, January 4, 2010

How To Get Your Relationships Needs Met

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How To Get Your Relationships Needs Met


If you can get your relationships needs met, the relationship has a better chance of being long and happy. Not having your needs met is one of the biggest reasons relationships don’t work out. And after a break up, it’s especially important to have your relationships needs met to stay happy and stay together.


The surefire way to get your needs met in a relationship is by making sure the other person knows just what those needs are. You can’t read minds, and you shouldn’t expert your partner to be able to read minds either. He or she wants to make sure your relationships needs are met, so tell them what they are.


At the same time, encourage your partner to tell you the needs he or she feels are important. You might be surprised to learn, if you’ve never had this conversation before, how different your needs might be.


You might feel the need for you partner to tell you he loves you often, so may you do that for him. He no doubt enjoys that, but maybe what he really needs is for you to do quick considerate things to make him feel special. Some people like to be told, and some people like to be shown.
Simply having a discussion about your relationships needs can strengthen the relationship and make it easier for you to keep each other happy. If you’re uncomfortable having such a frank discussion, you should do it anyway. Telling each other your needs is better than hinting or expecting them to be psychic.


You may really need your partner to be more helpful to you. But when it’s time to clean or wash dishes you do them alone, yet again. And instead of simply asking for help or letting him know that it would mean a lot to you if he would do them sometimes or do them with you, you get angry.


You might huff around while you’re doing them, slam a cabinet, or act otherwise put out. This is passive aggressive behavior. You’re trying to manipulate him into helping you by acting that way. It’s much better and healthier to simply ask for help.


Passive aggressive behavior is common in relationships, and it’s a worsening cycle because it doesn’t work. If he does take your hint, it’s only after you’ve acted put upon, angry and resentful. So his doing the dishes might be only to keep you from acting that way.


If you ask for help and explain that it makes you feel good when he wants to help you, then he’s coming at the task from a place of love and helpfulness. He doesn’t feel guilted into doing it, so it’s better for everyone.


This applies to things like showing affection, respecting each other’s feelings, and every aspect of your relationship. When you want something, ask for it, and be prepared to give your partner what he or she asks for to make sure all your relationships needs are met.

Friday, January 1, 2010

How to Win Love Back and Have Your Ex Fall in Love with You All Over Again

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How to Win Love Back and Have Your Ex Fall in Love with You All Over Again


What can you do to win love back? Getting your ex to fall in love with you all over again can be a challenge. The truth is that there are reasons that he or she called it off. If you can figure out what the reasons are, you have a good chance to win love back.


If you need to win love back because the other person couldn’t trust you anymore, you will have to proceed slowly. If you messed up and fooled around with someone else, you have to prove that you can be loyal again.


First, you must be certain that you want your ex back. What is going to keep you from straying again? Could it be that the reason you fooled around is because you weren’t 100 percent sure you wanted your ex? If this is the case, are you now sure that you want the relationship to go forward?


If you are sure, then you need to apologize. Don’t think that this will get you very far when it comes to win love back, but it is a necessary first step.


Then, you must give your ex time to heal. Don’t push him or her to resolve the situation. During this time, you don’t want to play any head games that might give your ex the feeling that you can’t be trusted. You probably shouldn’t date other people during this time. You should be humble.


Be a great friend to her. Do the things that made her fall in love with you in the first place. If she still has feelings for you, being a good friend can help her pave over the infidelity.


But there are reasons besides cheating that a person dumps their lover. For instance, they may be bored with the relationship. In this case, if you want to win love back, you have to spice things up.


When your ex was first attracted to you, you were probably not complacent in the dating game. You planned each date carefully, dressed up for the events, and brought little gifts to him or her from time to time. As the relationship developed, you may have gotten sloppy about it.


If you think the reason you are now in the position where you need to win love back is that you let the relationship get boring, try spicing things up. If you meet up again “just as friends” do something different and exciting. Meet at a wine bar instead of a pool hall. Go out for fondue or other “interesting” food. Go to a concert with music that she likes. Don’t just sit around the house watching football or American Idol all of the time.


If your ex is bored with you, win love back by becoming more interesting in your personal life as well. Take a course or join up with an interesting group. Start skydiving. Show your ex that you can be a lot of fun.


The final reason that I’m going to discuss here about why a break up happens is that you were just “too into” your ex. He or she didn’t have any room to breathe. They may still like you. Heck, they may still love you, but they didn’t find any room for themselves in the relationship.


If this is the case, you have to give your ex some space. The worst thing you can do is send them 100 text messages a day or call crying at 3:00 a.m. asking why the break up happened. You win love back by backing off. When you see your ex, be casual. Don’t be needy.


There are, of course, many other reasons why your ex could have broken up with you. When you analyze why the break up happened, you can use the space thereafter to win love back by making the necessary changes.


You won’t win love back by continuing in your old habits. But you should know that getting back together is possible. You can win love back.

Happy New year :)